As every New Yorker and London Review of Books subscriber
knows, one begins by being utterly impressed by the sheer stuff that these mags
offer, and one ends up like an inhabitant of Vicksburg in 1863, besieged and
bewildered as the issues just keep zooming in: there’s another Paul Anderson 14
pager on Nehru! There’s the issue on the Olympics! There’s the short story by
Michaelchabonzadiesmithalicemunroe!
Which is how the magazines have piled up in the office, and
how I lag behind, reading them. Last night, I finally made my way through the
issue in which Oliver Sacks recounts, with an astonishing lack of apology, his
drug experiences from the sixties. I
especially like his description of getting the DTs from overdoing the chloral,
and – after the initial shock of going home on a bus filled with insect-headed
humanoids – resolving to experience the whole thing, rather than checking into
a hospital. That’s the spirit! I remember once telling someone that I feared
that if I took acid, I get flashbacks, and this person looked astonished: those
are freebies, he explained.
It was nice that Sacks was resolutely not hiding those years
from the kids. And I like it, too, that he connects being high on an overdose
of amphetamines with his first real breakthrough in undertanding how he could
write himself. So much for the moralistic idea that drugs and ‘real’ creativity
are in two separate corners, and only an amateur would confuse them. Sacks has
discovered a nineteenth century book by a man named Liveing on the Megrim, or
Migraine:
“As the intensity of
the amphetamine took hold of me, stimulating my emotions and imagination,
Liveing’s book seemed to increase in intensity and depth and beauty. I wanted
nothing but to enter Liveing’s mind and imbibe the atmosphere of the time in
which he worked. IN a sort of catatonic concentration so intense that in ten
hours I scarcely moved a muscle or wet my lips, I read steadily through the
five hundred pages of Megrim. As I did so, it seemed to me almost as if I were
becoming Liveing himself, actually seeing the patients he described.”
That’s the Jekyll and Hyde prose I want my drug experiences
to be fogged in!
Sacks, of course, is far from alone. In the 80s, when I had
a few less intense drug experiences under my belt (mad coincidences via
mushroom, and the unforgettable time I was surrounded by Valkyrie who were bare
from the waist up, save for the Viking helmets, via the tab in New Orleans), I
sometimes pondered the changes that must be wrought in the mass consciousness
of America by the fact that literally tens of millions had taken some kind of
mind altering drug. Surely there was a hallucinatory underground that would, by
subliminal means, lead us through the doors of perception into the promised
land.
Alas, Huxley was wrong – you can easily kick down the doors
of perception on Saturday and remain the tv-drowned beancounter the rest of the
weak. The bean counter who has tripped does not tread more lightly in the world, aware that the fabric of reality is a
bit fragile, a bit of a con job, a few filaments thrown over the gaping void –
no, he’ll still cling to his day job and his day job mindset, he’ll still swallow
every biz inspirational platitude you shoot his way. The mystic/populist mix is a big bust, hosted by one of Blake’s
turncoat devils.
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