late breaking news

The World Wide News breaks the story first. The New York Times and The Washington Post both have egg on their faces, although of course the NYT have now assigned the crack team of Adam Nagourney and Elizabeth Bumiller to find the gypsy and ask her if her spells are the reason that, every time they are around the President, he just seems so big, strong, and competent.

My sources tell me that the gypsy has been thinking of placing a curse on UFOBreakfast. Don't be suprised if the tone, there, radically shifts to one of squirrel-o-philia. Rumor has it that Mr. Scruggs is writing a sonnet sequence to a certain H.C., beginning, "Like a man struggling vainly in a pillory/so is my heart bound to you, oh my Hilary."


Brian Miller said…
First he's a historian, then he'a an arbiter of literature, and not to forget his profession as an editor and crafter of bon mots a la academie. find out that... Rogers a poet, and didn't know astounding!
roger said…
Brian, just throw me the words - like, say, fucking, clucking, and spelunking -- and I will weave you a melody so fine, like a combination of oompa loompa and the geto boys.

(with apologies to Winn, who has a genuine poet's sensibility.)
It's all true. That's exactly what I'm doing. The self-loathing is pretty intense, but that only serves to enhance the experience.
new york pervert said…
Is he actively making plans for the nursing home? This is off-topic, I think, but not off-title, so I just thought this week's speeches were a new level of senility achievement.

I thought they at least knew how to keep him shut up by now. I am hard pressed to see how this does any of them any good. They may have to get rid of him in spite of themselves. A week of wondrous speeches, beginning with Mistah Bush trying to affect a good ole boy beer belly in his photo ops in Mississippi (or actually having one, which I hope.)
roger said…
Ah, Mr. NYP, cuttin' down brush keeps you from having beer belly. Besides, I peg Gwb for a doper at this point. Nothing finer than the smell of cedar in the air and a big spliff. Knowing, too, that you are Jesus' legitimate son.

This bums me out, actually. I hate for marijuana to get a bad rep, just cause the president is using it.

As for that speech -- what I don't understand is why the Dems continually choose the aggrieved patriot approach, instead of going on the fucking offense. Why not say, the terrorism Rumsfeld cites is directly linked to the incompetence of Rumsfeld's importance. Why not say: tough talk and blindingly ignorant performance increases American vulnerability every day. Why not say: Rumsfeld is OBL's enabler. He miserably failed to catch him in 2001, pursued the strategy of failure into Iraq, and has become a menace to health and well being of American soldiers everywhere. Every day he is secretary of defense, another American dies unnecessarily.

Stir the fucks up. Don't moan about how you can be a patriotic critic of the war effort. That mealy mouthed stuff is never a vote getter, except with the alumni of debate clubs. Americans love a shit fight.
roger said…
PS -- Rumsfeld's performance - not importance. My fingers are not under my control today!
Patrick said…
'and has become a menace to health and well being of American soldiers everywhere.'

Are you kidding? Talk about 'don't stop there'. This old hag has become a menace to all American anythings everywhere, including myself, who have got an image of him trying to jack off behind the lectern for the next speech, if he can plan that far ahead (say one month).