Ysa Ferrer!

Sundays are the days when we in the LI office lounge around, order out for margaritas, and have long, intense conversations with Brit on our cellphone. For a Britneyphile, this has been a crammed week – but aren’t they all? The baby. The disturbing advice from Mel (if we’ve told her once, we’ve told her a million times – check anything he tells you in the Kabbalah first!). And of course her Mom’s book. This Sunday, though, we mainly chatted about the whether Tracy Feith’s rather busy print dresses were for her, although of course, such conversation is tres confidential.

Instead of our Britney Sunday, we will address another subject. Most people come to LI for one reason and one reason only: nude pics of Lady Bitch Ray! That there are no nude pics of Lady Bitch Ray on this site hasn’t seemed to discouraged the hordes of horny lemmings, who apparently can’t live another day without seeing LBR’s pussy.
Oh don’t ask why!
Oh, don’t ask why!

Now the singer we’d really like to promote in the States is Ysa Ferrer. It is a puzzle to me that To bi or not to bi is not playing from the grocery store sound systems near you (as I just heard Santogold’s LES Artistes). It is that inveterate American problem with languages other than English, perhaps. But I’ve been pleased to see Ysa’s fans in France now sing along with her when she gets into the song – or maybe pleased isn’t exactly the word. But it is sucha catchy jingle that LI has decided to help it along in the states by translating the lyrics, which in French go

Si je choisis je perds
La moitié de mes repères
Le sens de l'équilibre
L'impression d'être libre

C'est une partie de moi-même
Attirée par les extrêmes
Par ce monde invisible
Où tout semble possible

Laisse-moi vivre ma vie
Aimer qui j'ai envie
Je suis comme je suis
Libre de corps et d'esprit
To bi or not to bi
Pas besoin d'alibi
J'aimais Ken et Barbie
Je me sens aussi
Bien avec elle qu'avec lui
To bi or not to bi

Un peu d'il un peu d'elle
Enfin je me sens belle
Si l'amour est intense
Le sexe n'a plus d'importance

La meilleure façon de marcher
Ma tenue de soirée
Mon plus beau théorème
Pour te dire que je t'aime

Laisse moi vivre ma vie
Aimer qui j'ai envie
Je suis comme je suis
Libre de corps et d'esprit
To bi or not to bi
Pas besoin d'alibi
J'aimais Ken et Barbie
Je me sens aussi
Bien avec elle qu'avec lui
To bi or not to bi

Ysa has never claimed to be Georges Brassens, so this isn’t exactly what you’d call a deep song. But fuck it – for a woman who is half manga, it is deep enough. Anyway, here’s the translation:

If I chose I lose
half my M.O. goes
my equilibrium
and my freedom

Attracted by extremes
part of me it seems
by a world invisible
where everything is possible

Just let me live my way
I am I anyway
My body and my mind are free
To bi or not to bi
No need for alibis
I loved Ken and Barbie
Feeling good don’t you see
with him or her or her or me
To bi or not to bi

A little of he a little of she
At last I feel pretty [I changed the french to make sense of this line]
if the love is intense
sex has no importance

I’m walking like I know how
My clubbing dress it says wow
This is my best proof
to tell you that I love you

Etc. I sorta bent a few lines to get to the rhymes, or most of them, which will disturb you purists out there – that is, if anybody really, really feels intensely about Ysa Ferrer’s lyrics.

And – extra for the Lady Bitch Ray nude crowd – if you really comb Dailymotion, Ysa just made her own nude vid! Exciting, eh? But you will have to find it yourself. Ha ha ha.


northanger said…
you really need to post a nude pic.
roger said…
North - and so the serpent whispered in Eve's ear. You know, the masses of LBR's horny fans that come here come here because you, light of my life, posted that pic of her in the comments, or a link at least, showing her showing her magnificent derriere.

On the other hand, isn't there a sort of internet foreplay rule? Shouldn't Ysa Ferrer's nude pic fans be teased with the promise of pics of the obviously voluptuous minx, but forced to use all their intelligence to find them? Much of my education, in adolescence, came from reading for the dirty bits. It is good for the hormones! Educational!

This will be an interesting experiment. How many are searching for Ysa Ferrer, nue - as opposed to LBR?
northanger said…
i can't help it if you're a prude.
roger said…
I am a prude, but more about my own naked form than about Ysa's. Do I really want the one handed drive bys, though? Okay, North, I'll put an Ysa pic, maybe not a nude one though, at the head of this post.
northanger said…

i apologize if, in any way, i influenced the AO-69 ONE HANDED DRIVE BYS, i shall do one hail mary to the blessed virgin to cleanse your blog of this unsightly crew. {om}

Anonymous said…
LI, hey I like the Ysa Ferrer promo. Don't make it too easy on the one handed drive bys by posting a nude pic. A little effort comrades!


Anonymous said…
sorry, messed up the link. here it is

Chuckie K said…
I still maintain the LBR U.S. franchise is up for grabs. With a politely formulated request, I'm sure you could get those nude shots and infinitely expand the audience for your other content.
roger said…
Decisions, decisions. Stick with LRB and put the nude pics up. Or go to Ysa's teasing.

If Plutarch wrote a comparative lives of the great rapperinen, Ysa and Reyhan Sahin would make a good couple. Ysa, too, started out as a rapper. If you follow her through her vids, you'll notice that Ysa has grown more beautiful and enchanting as she's gotten older. This, I think, is because she ceased being a rapper and allowed herself to be ridden by her true Lwa, the manga superheroine. Which released her dancer's bod - the woman has the gams of a cyd charisse... or, maybe that is exaggerating. Still, being a mama, a manga heroine, and ... whatever the character is with the sort of eighteenth century feather/hair/hat and that short pleated skirt - Maria Antoinette as a modern soft core French maid? Well, it is amazing! And oddly enough, she apparently can't gain any traction with the big record companies. Are they nuts?

On the other hand, Reyhan Sahin might be going too fast. The cock teasing Turkish devil was a great persona. But she shouldn't have immediately spoiled it by being photographed in her secondary role as some nude lover in a forgettable film. Talk about dissipating your assets! Of course, that might be LBR's point - spend everything. And I am perhaps doing the early fan thing of disliking it when my obsession becomes popular. Gotta give her credit for this outfit! But Mein Weg is a mess.

We'll see. LBR has taken a big risk, making herself into the always ready motherfucking bitch ray, and that cockteases my alway impressionable heart. Its a question of radicalism versus Ysa's elegant frivolity.

And thus endeth my Plutarchian comparison.

Amie, I like that