The Plan 9 from outer space Party

Yesterday, I figured it out.

I’ve been wondering if the GOP was serious. They are actually going to nominate this guy?

For a number of years, LI has used the term zombie to denote those who support George Bush. It seemed like a pertinent insult – after all, these were people who have confused a war with a tailgate party. Their sense of unearned entitlement is only equaled by their contempt for liberty. Their lumbering walk through many a comments thread gave meaning to the term, 'self-administered lobotomy'.

But I had thought that the Republican party honchos had a certain amount of control. They would feed the doggies what they damned well pleased.

But – in a final coup de theâtre of massive incompetence – Bush’s toxicity has apparently affected the party itself. John McCain is such a lemon that no amount of media fluffing will get beyond the fact that he seems to be doing standup on the Ed Sullivan show of yore. He is very very of yore.

Which is why I have decided that this the GOP’s version of Plan 9 from outer space. Compare McCain’s fifties-ish patter (and his impulse to surround himself with the doddering and the demented) to this clip of Ed Wood. Surely, McCain is stealing his routine from the amazing Kreskin, seen at the end of this clip. While I believe the zombie’s will swallow nearly everything, I refuse to believe they are going to rally so that we can elect the amazing Kreskin to that tv spectacular, White House idol.

Perhaps, not being a tv watcher, I am presuming too much on my own eye. After all, via you tube clips of the Chelsea Handler show, I've learned that Dancing with the Stars is a hit. That's, well, quite a shock - Americans, I always thought, were way too sophisticated to watch stuff that the yahoo Euro tv networks put on - so maybe this is a bad sign. I just don't see McCain, however, going anywhere but down.


Arkady said…
There's no point in wasting a halfway decent candidate on this election. McCain is perfect, an asshole, a stupid one, who won't have to be prompted to take a dive if that's what's needed. In that regard, one might compare him to the can of tomatoes from the great state of Massachusetts. If by some miracle he does manage to shuffle in, four years of his "maverick" honking and hooting still offers plenty of chaos-to-cash opportunity. Not as much as President Backbone provided, possibly, but better than nothing.

Get with the spectacle, man! I plan to savor the Democratic "realists" tortured and embarrassing abasement, as they praise him for not being a chickenhawk.
Chuckie K said…
McCain makes me think of a week old balloon. Fully inflated and bouncing off the ceiling on your birthday, but now turned matte and wrinkly and puffy and just lying there. so I will be referring to him as 'Old Balloon' when I talk about the election.
roger said…
He is like an old balloon. But I'm still going for my comparison to the amazing Kreskin. It is not only the same radio show use of the word "friends", but the platitudes that come straight shootin' out of John Mickey C's mouth - which are pretty much the same as "we are all interesting in the future, friends, for that's where we are going to spend the rest of our lives!"

As we know, wisdom like that would make the Joe Klein's of the world roll up into little overwhelmed balls.
Brian said…
He will be the President. Too many people who would never vote for a wimmin or a N^%$er. All's it would take is one "terrorist" event (and how would we know the scare quotes are not merited-the Black Budget is black for a reason) and we will flock to the heroic embrace of Grandpa Bomb-the-Children
roger said…
Brian, I'll stick with my intuition. I have no idea whether or not a (fake) terrorist event will happen. I do know that to win the White House Idol contest, it is best not to look like the Amazing Kreskin. It is a long trail from here to there, but it looks to me like this is a blowout year - Dems will gain four in the senate, ten to fifteen in the House, and - I think - most probably the White house. As I say, though, it is the Dancing with the Stars factor that might mess up my predictions. I understand survivor. I understand American idol. But dancing with the stars messes up my whole sense of what Americans will volunteer to watch. So they might go for Mikey C's hambone act.
I still think the GOP should nominate Jeb.
Brian said…
Isn't Jeb the (relatively) smart one? It would be a shame if the Black Sheep of the family forever stymied the deserved successes of the favorite son.
roger said…
But Brian, this is why White House Idol is your show of shows! From the triumph of of the untalented to the true life tragedies of the unmerited, it has something to enthrall viewers of all ages! Our contestants are just like the kids in FAME, that is, if the kids in FAME had actually been the crusty libertines in De Sade's 100 days of Sodom. And for every loser, there is a consolation prize. Just see who runs Cerberus Capital Management.
Brian said…
Well gosh, roger, after reading his site

I would say the amazing Kreskin would make a better president than any of the current crew. Maybe I am indeed a McCainiac without knowing it!
Brian said…
But...I will respectfully disagree with your predictions. Those newfangled voting machines...can be "adjusted" no?

"It is very possible that there was fraud or serious malfunction of
the voting machines in the NY elections. Surprised? Apparently some
black districts got zero votes for Obama. That is already a very
weird event. Unless the candidate is at the very bottom of the
slate, no front running candidate ever gets zero votes in a
district. It appears that districts adjacent (two blocks away) to
the one with the zero votes got a majority of votes for Obama. Some
people in those neighborhoods are pushing for an investigation. I
hope they do investigate."
roger said…
Brian, shamefully, I mispelled Ed Wood's friend's name. It is Criswell, and his site is here. Not Kreswell! I'm so ashamed.
roger said…
By the way, Criswell really had his hand on the pulse of the future. His predictions are amazing! Like this one:

Aphrodisiacal Era (p. 21)

I predict that our own United States will in the future be swept by the popular clouds of an aphrodisiacal fragrance. ... This aroma will fill every man and woman who inhales it with uncontrolled passion. It will be sold at first "underground" like LSD or STP today. But it will soon become easily available. ...

I predict that the sex urge will advance rapidly and many men will flagrantly expose themselves in public. Grandfathers will be accused of seducing their granddaughters and uncles will be jailed under similar crimes. Women will begin to think more of their appearance and they will have new hair styles, more attractive clothing and will use more cosmetics than ever before. [T]he driving sex urge will eventually cause orgies even greater than those of decadent Rome during the reign of the unmentionable Caesars. ... In Los Angeles, California, particularly Hollywood, sex acts will be performed openly, unashamedly on the streets. I predict that this will be difficult to control, for even the members of the law enforcement agencies will be dominated by the powerful cloud of aphrodisiac. Many cases of incest will be reported.

I predict a wealthy San Francisco attorney will announce his marriage to his mother and a Hollywood producer will openly declare his daughter is going to bear his child, and a young man in Arkansas will ask to be legally wed to his pet cat. ...

Date of the aphrodisiacal era: May 1, 1988, to March 30, 1989.