Sunday, September 16, 2007

A warning to UFOB

Convalescing means watching a lot of YouTube, which is how I came across this alarming video of a Democratic Fund Raiser that makes me fear for Mr. Scruggs life.
I hope the crewe at UFOB resisted that invite to the Hilary-Ralph Reconciliation Potluck. Oh, it might look like a fun time, and you all might have been thinking, what the heck. We'll let bygones be bygones. That Hil has a dazzlin' plan for the Middle East, too. And talk about your single payer plan reconciling the legitimate interests of insurance company with the needs of the little guy! Why, I'm seein' stars. I'm seeing security and victory in our war on terrorism and being able to afford getting Betty Sue's appendix yanked! Sure, now, she's had that there appenddycitus for nigh on to two years. She made an awful moaning in the back house, couldn't get to sleep. Lately she does seem to have settled down, though...

But let me tell ya, fellas, it is a trap.

9 comments:

Arkady said...

Roger! My god, man, thanks for the warning! I've seen those croupiers in the neighborhood recently, attempting to look all innocent. I was suspicious, of course, but I had no idea! I mean no idea whatsoever that this sort of horror was coming down the pike.

Needless to say I'm grateful -- especially so because even in convalescence, besieged by a Dawkinsian virus, you're surfing the dark corners of the web and looking out for me.

northanger said...

um, Butthole Surfers?

Roger Gathmann said...

North, don't the very words ring a bell? Actually, back in the 80s of sacred memory, I had a friend who got involved with a Buttholes project - a video called Colonel Jackoff, as I remember it, dedicated to Oliver North. I think the video was never made, in the end (or was it? my memory is that it was shown, for some reason, in Australia) but by that time my friend had discovered that mixing heroin and hallucinogens was a lifetime calling - not an uncommon discovery in the Butthole entourage at that time. Or at least it was worth a couple of years, a stay in a sanitorium, and the loss of some minor organic function to my buddy.

northanger said...

you did heroin?

Arkady said...

He had to! The hallucinogens make you jittery after a while.

Roger Gathmann said...

North! I had a horror of heroin. By chance, I happened to know several people who were using it, and they were not exactly advertisements for the use of the stuff, unless your idea of fun is night of the living dead. I'm a cautious guy, man! Mushrooms, on the other hand, well I did like mushrooms. But you know, it is so long ago I did anything beyond tequilla and a mild joint that it all seems quasi-mythical. Being middle aged and full of responsibilities (for instance, any moment now I'm going to take a shower), I have no time for delivering insults to my brain. Besides, the average day's news does enough of that and to spare.

northanger said...

He does appear jittery, Mr. Scruggs.

Anonymous said...

LI, ah, doesn't "capitalism" have a way with its cost-benefits and risk-management. No longer does one have to stand on a street corner, shuffling around, waiting for the dealer, one beady eye on the lookout for cops, the other on whether the dealer is having a particularly bad day and is going to pull something a bit disconcerting like a knife or a gun, and so on. Hey, but one can pick up a newspaper for next to nothing, it's all civilized and all, and hallucinate, in the comforts of home or the subway or the office, etc.!
Hallucination and capitalism, tsk tsk, this would be a snag for "productivity" n'est-ce pas? Au contraire!

Roger Gathmann said...

Amie, I've never quite achieved the druggie heights of having home delivery! The only people I know who still use H (who all live in NYC) have to get it the old fashioned way, by going to some mysterious area somewhere below 14th and Broadway - although probably the poor dealers have been driven out, by now, by the baby carriage set.

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